Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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