"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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