I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Michael Bay diarrhea
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
