I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
