Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
