Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
