moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
