your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
