Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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