she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The ass gains better be worth it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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