Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize