She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize