I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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