i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
