I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just had sex bonerless
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
