so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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