it was like his penis was on wheels.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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