dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
