your room smells of hookers.
And success
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
