how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
