Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
