No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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