3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
