Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize