OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
