It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
