Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
