come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
