so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
