Are we in a gay sports bar?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
