i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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