if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
