I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
