In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
