yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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