Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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