haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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