There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
