I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
