Can i not drive my cunt home
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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