they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
