so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
