No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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