have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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