I need help removing her.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
