Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
