Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
