we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
