i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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