Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
