just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
