:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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