Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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