in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize