He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
