In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Randomize
