And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
