SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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