so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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