I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
