he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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