just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
