are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
