I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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