Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
