Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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