no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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