sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is my gift to your gina
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
