I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
