It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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