You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize