Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
