why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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