maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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